Thursday, April 16, 2015

The knigdom's mantras

Come on Barbie, let's go Barbie....this was Ken's corporate mantra !!!!!!
Where is the center of least work? was Barbie's mantra
'How to do nothing and make it look like work? was Mermaid's mantra
'Yeh sab kya ho raha hain, was colored man's mantra
;I can see better because my head is inches higher, was Giraffes mantra
'How to make grown ups frightened of fire, deluge, bubonic plague, volcanoes and the unseen to retain my state, was the Stick man's mantra
'Hear Hear..The king has something to proclaim (when he actually has nothing)....was the Byron's mantra
'The kingdom is earning in brass, spending how to show diamonds....was the coin man's mantra
And the real knights who worked to keep the hearth of the kingdom warm had a  ,' How can I get out of here? mantra
The Emperor's mantra.........
I love you!!!!!!!!


Sunday, April 12, 2015

The Emperor and his foolish men!!!!

The Emperor sat on his throne. He was a nice man and a sharp thinker. However, he had surrounded himself with a bunch of fools, Barbie and Ken included.
The Emperor sat with his goblet and listened to his coterie. At times he was exasperated and at times he was amused. So the days went by......
One day, the Emperor decided to review the state of his kingdom with his brood of men and women. They rode to the outskirts. The Emperor of course had the fastest steed and the best tent. The others too had their own horses of course paid for by the workers of the state. Barbie and Ken were very happy and so was Mermaid.
When they reached the campsite, the Emperor realized that he had forgotten to carry his clothes. Barbie giggled nervously. Mermaid was disgusted. She was the moral keeper of the kingdom.
One or two wise men raised their hands in vain.
Then the colored man got an idea. He said, I know a tailor who will fit you with the best clothes.
The Emperor looked unsure for in his hearts he knew that colored man was a donkey however he bid him to go. Now the colored man was in a soup. He knew no tailor but he fibbed. Hoping that someone would offer their clothes to the Emperor.
The colored man gathered the Mermaid , Barbie, Ken , Giraffe and conferred. He confessed that he knew no tailor. And then the hoax.
Colored man got the Wheeler Dealer and said, Your highness, he has a talent . He also sews.
The Emperor got out of his clothes and stood without a stich. Wheeler Dealer pretended to fit him with clothes and everyone appreciated the weave and weft.
The Emperor looked down and said, I am naked
No you are not. The fabric is so fine that even you cannot see it!!!the colored man said.
The Emperor was happy. And so the mardi gras began, Barbie also waxed and waned stumbling and fluttering. Mermaid had no clue what she was doing in the kingdom. Ken did some useless activity that a laborer could do. The wise men were drowned in this useless activity.
The Bourgeois’ ate cakes that the peasants baked.
And then the Emperor mounted his steed and his troop theirs.
Barbie was still giggling.
Now who will tell the Emperor he has no clothes?????

Moral: Keep yourself physically fit, for you may sometimes have to be naked!!!!!!!!!!


Friday, April 10, 2015

Flower petals and its relevance....

 An Indian marriage is characterized by flower petals. The groom who is positioned at a larger than life pedestal is showered with flowers.
And so are funerals. Where the dead body is covered with flowers.
And so when corporates start using flowers to decorate their hallways and make garlands to string at their entrances one is likely to think that there is a marriage or a funeral.
But no.....
 You are flummoxed when you are informed that foreign white guests are visiting you ( read as professionals) and the whole office smells like a funeral parlor or a wedding hall.

Barbies and Kens stand with the vermillion and a flame on a stainless steel plate (where the price sticker is still not removed) and without any meaning move the plate round and round the white guest.
Two consequences:
1)The white guests consider fire to be a hazard and wonder why the hell the fire alarms are not going off?
2)They almost go squint fearing that the fire does not touch them.

Why? Why?
What is the need to pretend that we extremely smart Indian professionals have to resort to this mambo jambo to receive our white guests. Why follow an archaic system?
Hospitality industry regularly does this for it is a part of their business culture.
In all through my travels to corporates abroad I have never seen ostentatious display being used to make any one comfortable. The mantra is ' Run your business like a tight ship'
A firm handshake and a warm smile, of course with soaring numbers will do the trick.

Mercifully we have not started sprinkling our guests with the incense water.......
Its time we behave like professionals and show to the world that we are because we can!
And we need not resort to any fancy dress or medieval systems to explain our feats and fallacies.

Let us be proud of the body of work that we do .....
And show it to the world...that we CAN!!!!